"I'm either working or at the hotel"

If nothing else, online dating has sparked some hilarious conversations with A (and our newest friends, JB & JM, we met them at a singles meetup.  Terrible assortment of guys, great place to pick up chicks.).  Here are some of the best.

• "I want to be the headlights, I never get to be the headlights!"
• "I just threw away three condoms because they were expired, how sad is that?"
• "I can imagine you in a city.  Or at the bar."
• "Just know, that without meeting you, I will always imagine you as a crossdresser" (said twice, by two of us, to different guys. What does that say about us?)
• "Not because you're attractive, I just never cross the bro line.  Or the braa line, lol."

Coperni-kissing

This has been mentioned before but seriously, what is it with boys trying to Copernicus you over a good night kiss?  It just leads to laughter and there's no way to explain it.  "Well, you see, it's like a hug (or kiss) but almost a strangle.  And there's a monkey that may kill you in your sleep."

I learned in Drill Team years ago that when you're in a kickline, you keep your thumb in, next to your fingers, otherwise you hit a pressure point on the girl next to you and they drop.  That could easily happen when you're Coperni-kissing.  There shouldn't be a thumb on your collarbone and a hand around your neck. Keep those thumbs in guys, it doesn't give us confidence in the rest of your abilities.

Boys are stupid

There's a reason for the saying, "I can't make this shit up." That reason? Dating. Because seriously, you can't make this shit up. You need examples? Here you go, full stories some other time:

• The number of people with security clearance, military history, PTSD and an inability to get a VISA due to CIA affiliation.
• People who ask a girl out and are never heard from again.
• It's a bad idea to have visions of Copernicus in your head when your date awkwardly puts his hand on your neck during a good night kiss (which has happened more than once).
• Men who want to share their personal love for and pictures of themselves in women's panties.
• Relationships that end when the new girl in your boyfriend's life accidentally breaks up with you.

Seriously?  Suddenly the cats are so much more appealing. Thank God for girlfriends with a sense of humor. And wine.

So I'm a cat nurse and I still haven't found a man

After receiving a ridiculous email this morning entitled "Did you find a man" which really? and no, and wow, shut up, it was quickly forwarded to A.  Who had the same response and also offered psychological examination.  But, because of that email, every email over the day had the same question, like, way to rub it in, Gmail.  Finally, A called and said, "I STILL haven't found a man and I've had to think about it all day!"

The cat part is an ongoing saga of assisting in the cancer/pallitive care of the cat who lives with her ex.  Every day she's pilling or IV giving or administering injections of some sort.  Which is sad on many levels.

So her reality today is 1) no man and 2) giver of IV fluids to her ex-cat.  Do we know how to have fun or what?