Inevitable overshare

Since this is a blog that discusses dating, eventually there was bound to be sex talk.  Turn back now, if you're squeamish or easily offended.

I'll spare you the actual details (mostly, be grateful), but here some things that ran through my head during an encounter last night (second date, good chemistry, less nerdy in person, better hair):

• Good job! - the twist is that it was in A's voice.  In my head.  As an internal kudos for achieving, um, just imagine.  Remember, we're at the beginning.
• Oh great! - also in A's voice, when that achievement....disappeared.  Before anything happened.
• Random lines from Sex and the City  - ...and the dipping 
• Wait, is he trying to fishhook me? C would laugh so hard at that.
• Do I really need to be here for this?
• This is verging on Copernicus territory. Again?  How?  Why?
• And A & J chorus of "eeeewwww, no" - upon confirmation of tighty whiteys.  Yeah, me too.  I couldn't look.
• It's business time - but with underwear, not socks.  Don't ask me why there are two pairs.  Yes, underwear.  Don't ask. I did note the sock removal though. And no, it wasn't Wednesday.  In my case (but not others, although that's a different story. I wasn't there). 

The best comment to come out of our girls' lunch this week: "You have street sex, I have hotel sex.  You have got to stop doing that."

"I'm either working or at the hotel"

If nothing else, online dating has sparked some hilarious conversations with A (and our newest friends, JB & JM, we met them at a singles meetup.  Terrible assortment of guys, great place to pick up chicks.).  Here are some of the best.

• "I want to be the headlights, I never get to be the headlights!"
• "I just threw away three condoms because they were expired, how sad is that?"
• "I can imagine you in a city.  Or at the bar."
• "Just know, that without meeting you, I will always imagine you as a crossdresser" (said twice, by two of us, to different guys. What does that say about us?)
• "Not because you're attractive, I just never cross the bro line.  Or the braa line, lol."

Obligatory cat picture

Just to lighten things up. Also, it's cute.

Leo and Ivan, hanging out

"Somewhere in between the beginning and the end..."

So today I made the conscious decision to be a shitty friend. And possibly a shitty person. In a move that may seem petty, and possibly something last seen in junior high, I decided to go to a concert instead of attending a long-planned girls night in honor of a friend's upcoming wedding. Faced with a last minute, intimate show of one of my favorite artists over an increasingly awkward friendship, I chose me. And Matt Nathanson. How very Kelly Taylor. So now A and I stand with new friends, together, but separate from the rest.

It's hard, as adults, to have friendships, to be open, to be individuals, to really connect. I've been fortunate in that I feel like I've been able to make, and keep, friendships as an adult. A lot people say it's hard to make friends as time goes on. But there's a difference between spending time with people and being friends with people. And I want/need real friends. People who might be different but still "get" you, people who can tell you to get over yourself, to fuck off and deal with your shit, people who you can help work through their things, an open exchange. Anything else is exhausting on all sides.  But there are people who you really let in and people you just have in little boxes. And maybe that's okay.

In keeping with the music theme, and the comfort/joy I find in Matt Nathanson's songs, this one seems appropriate. I'd love for him to play it.

We don't admit it but we've never seen eye to eye

This sums up my recent 11 day trip to my hometown. My niece got married and I helped with the coordination during the wedding and details leading up to it. I had a blast hanging out with my sister and getting to really know my niece, her new husband and nephew as adults. Lots of champagne, super fun.

Less fun was 11 days at my mom's house. My mom is a wonderful woman and we have nothing in common (except that we realized that pretzels make both of us queasy). After a few days, it starts to really get me down/make me insane. I pride myself on being strong and independent, savvy and smart, while my mom is very reserved, completely milquetoast, and prefers to fade into the background. She's very set in her ways, very skittish, very insecure (yet somehow she managed to be the first in her family to go to college, get a professional career and move overseas for several years. Alone.) But now she won't drive across town or decide where to get lunch for fear of offending someone, being wrong or causing a fuss. It makes me sad. I think she does it at great personal expense but she won't talk about it.

Which explains why I sometimes over-assert myself, defiantly stand up for myself, and like to know what's where/what's new/where to go, and why I studied conflict resolution. I can only change myself, and that's okay.

My hometown bonus: seeing old friends and getting to play Barbies with the coolest six year old around. That and getting to dance to "You're the one that I want" with my sister.

The Wombats are proving to be a fantastic summer soundtrack, can't wait to see them next month at Red Rocks! We're liking "Our Perfect Disease" a lot. Everything's better with a soundtrack.

"We are listening and we're not blind"

One of the highlights of Birthday Continuum (really, there was no low point, besides fatigue) was seeing Snow Patrol in Denver. I've seen them a few times before but A hadn't, and she loves them. Mostly, she loves Gary Lightbody. At the show, I was equally concerned for his safety and that she might pass out. Whenever we've talked about the new album, or any songs, we've always said that there are dances. And 'Called Out in the Dark' has always had a dance - you may be sitting, but there's a thing with the arms that gets bigger and ends up over the head. We know it's a bad day when 'Called Out in the Dark' can't make it better (for me, it's a really bad day when all my other songs tagged here can't help. See also: Matt Nathanson, Rhett Miller, Scars on 45).  Gary Lightbody's voice is like a warm bath, everything else melts away.

"I only miss you when I'm with you"

Here's something new from Rhett Miller, Out of Love. He's awesome. So good live and as nice as he is pretty (okay, maybe he's a touch prettier.  He's very pretty).  Definitely worth seeing him and the Old 97's, I see them every chance I get, it's very cool that they're revisiting Too Far to Care, it's a great album and will make for a fun tour. Get his new album. Or one of the earlier onesh. All of them.